Finding a genuinely fulfilling path forward depends on my ability to see and deconstruct that web of fantasy. I must offer it my very grateful thanks for it has brought me very far into my journey within the world. But if I were to build on it I would be building on a mirage. Therefore it serves me best now to look with curious interest at what is true, knowing that my understanding of truth must continue to shift, not only with my evolving self but with my capacity to see and shape meaning. What I choose to construct for the future may be every bit as fantastical as what I have held onto in the past, but to the extent that I am capable, I will choose it consciously and I will not allow within it narratives that are destructive, diminishing or falsely limiting, either in relation to myself or to others.
It turns out that part of creating what wants to be is about looking clear-eyed at what is. There are an astonishing number of selves that I create for myself, stories of meaning and being, stories that prop up my ego to enable me to believe that there is something beyond the person who obediently travels to work each morning. I want to know that once I arrive, the person who interacts with others has something to offer, something to say and something to contribute. What I take for granted as being "me" does not, in fact, hold up under scrutiny but is instead a sophisticated mythos of self.
Finding a genuinely fulfilling path forward depends on my ability to see and deconstruct that web of fantasy. I must offer it my very grateful thanks for it has brought me very far into my journey within the world. But if I were to build on it I would be building on a mirage. Therefore it serves me best now to look with curious interest at what is true, knowing that my understanding of truth must continue to shift, not only with my evolving self but with my capacity to see and shape meaning. What I choose to construct for the future may be every bit as fantastical as what I have held onto in the past, but to the extent that I am capable, I will choose it consciously and I will not allow within it narratives that are destructive, diminishing or falsely limiting, either in relation to myself or to others.
2 Comments
Emilie Bourdet
2/3/2017 17:43:12
It is fun how we create stories around who we are. During the last difficult years I have abandonned to define with words who I am because pain and fear have erased so much of who I thought I was!
Reply
Sharing deep art must always require a lot of courage I imagine. It was a bit scary for me to share my book. It is strange the way we need to express our souls in a tangible form, but then we are faced with a problem. How do we share our art without exposing ourselves or risking that it will be seen by people who will abuse it / us? Is there any part of you that likes the idea of a public exhibition? Can you imagine a way that it would work for you? And did it feel different with the art you created for me, because it was about me and not you?
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Introduction
"Only that day dawns to which we are awake," wrote Thoreau. This blog, in words and pictures, is my attempt to be awake: to be alive to the mystery of life. It is an exercise in gratitude and wonder, and an open invitation to beauty. Archives
May 2019
Categories |